The Efficiency Expert's Night Out

Dedicated to Adam Z. Lein


Dear Diary:

Tonight I had a date with this woman I'd been after for months. She said that she'd like to go for dinner and a movie, but I pointed out that was inefficient because the movie theater wasn't integrated with the restaurant. Instead, I suggested a karaoke bar that I like which also serves food and she agreed.

The night at the karaoke bar went well until somebody started singing Frank Sinatra's "My Way". At the end, I stood up and pointed out that Sinatra's life would have gone much better had he done it my way, not his way. For some reason, we were asked to leave.

We got back to my place and I started kissing my date. One thing led to another and we got more intimate. However, about 5 minutes in, I had to stop and point out that several things she was doing weren't necessary, like changing into lingerie, and were quite inefficient.

She didn't seem to believe me, so I enumerated the steps it would take her compared to the most efficient way. She seemed taken aback, so I offered her a copy of my booklet, How To Have Sex Like A Pro. She threw the booklet in my face and said, "Then why don't you hire a pro?" and stormed out.

Women! Go figure....

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